Havent had a way to get online and to be honest it makes you feel lost almost empty. But simce my last post i have moved back to oklahoma amd things were scary and was wondering if i would go back to my old ways and i so i stayed home like a hermit. So I picked back up my bible and started praying more again and went to church with my grandpa girlfriend as soon as i walked in the door i felt comfort and peace. That was long over due since i cant even recall a sense of piece in my life before then. But i stay going to church on Sundays and reading daily like my talk to God since he is the only sober person i knew at this point. Wednesday nights now are bible study and its only the second week into them and I am participating and understanding what i read and hear. Knowledge is on many different levels , you can have street knowledge , book knowledge but there is nothing like the knowledge that comes from the holy spirit. Some may argue that there is no such thing but in my addiction i became all to familiar with the demonic spirits and doings of this world that when i was able to experience the presence of the holy spirit there is no turning back.
Today makes 142 days clean and i got a visit from my longtime friend and her son, i enjoyed that all to well she brought me a Sarah Young Jesus is calling book and we had the fist sober conversation on my part probably since we met. Once she left i took the wrapper off and realized that she spent as much money on that book as what a quarter paper of meth used to cost us back in the days of partying. I almost wanted to cry cuz of all things that i could think about was wow maybe we arent toxic as we were in the past. She has a job and graduated from drug class im so excited because she used to be sober for awhile when i wasnt and i was toxic in her recovery and to see how far we both have come is just amazing. Without the Lord in our lives nothing like this would be even possible.
Tonight is the last day of 2015 and its pretty nice to end it with sobriety , faith and knowledge. Sobriety from my demons, faith in the Lord and myself and the knowledge to understand my disease and the knowledge to understand what the Lord has instore for his children.
